You have one week to learn how to make an awesome pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving.
Or, alternatively, you have an infinite amount of time to learn how to make a pumpkin pie for some event that isn’t Thanksgiving, because let’s face it, the last thing that a giant savoury feast needs is an indulgent dessert that someone spent a shit-ton of time on. I’m all for pumpkin pie, but maybe just, like, on any other weekend other than Thanksgiving? If you ask me (nobody has), the dessert we should most start aligning ourselves with come Thanksgiving time is a generously-poured digestivo and a roll of Tums. I swear that the reason so many people think disparagingly of pumpkin pie is due to the post-food coma state that most of us are in when we are encouraged choke down that fat slab of pastry.
So make your choice…do the Thanksgiving thing and make your pie the way I’m obviously enabling you to do. Or don’t. Tell everyone that Thanksgiving requires no dessert other than a well-timed antacid, and settle back into your new role as holiday shit disturber. Just be a lamb and make those people some pumpkin pie in a couple of weeks when all the hubbub has died down. Surely they’ve earned it by now.
Traditionalist? Click here for the quintessential pumpkin pie recipe.
Shit-disturber? Click here for a generous re-interpretation of the word ‘pie’.