The weekend that I made and shot this post was my last weekend of eating both wheat and dairy for at least 6 weeks, but potentially for longer, depending on the outcome. I wish that I could say it was all part of a cleanse, or some other stereotypical millennial activity, but alas I am becoming aged and with being aged comes health problems apparently. This is not a platform that I would like to monopolize with the tedious topic of wellness, so let’s skip the drivel and just say that I wanted my last foreseeable weekend of dairy and wheat consumption to be legen-dairy (see, now I can’t make jokes like that anymore either – my world is slowly disintegrating around me).
Bread-dusted sticks of cheese seemed like the perfect sendoff prior to ushering myself into the horrendous world of nut cheeses (or cheezes, if you will; let’s not disgrace the good name of cheese). Also, why do people act like nut cheeses are a delicious thing or even a thing reminiscent of cheese? Is it because they haven’t moved past the first stage of grieving and are stuck in a continuous cycle of denial where the ability to convince one’s self that cashews could ever mime the consistency of cheese is temporarily heightened? I must have missed that section of the dairy aisle where the cheeses get vacuum-sealed and bleed their weird grease into the creases of their plastic coffins.
Thinly-veiled bitterness aside, if you are among the fortunate who can eat dairy without your body (potentially) trying to destroy you in response, do me the honour of getting over any frying fears that you may harbor, and make some goddamn fried cheese this weekend. Just don’t tell me about it because I’ll probably come over and want to smell your hands just to inhale some of that wheaty, cheesy goodness into my body.
Traditionalists, come right this way for a classic crispy mozzarella stick complete with spicy marinara and a roll of Tums. Click here for BA’s Best: Mozzarella Sticks.
Self-proclaimed rebels, come on down for the crunchiest, meltiest halloumi sticks drizzled with sweet chile and mint, and made even more dairy-full with a side of harissa-spiked yogurt. Click here for Halloumi Sticks.